The following gameplay footage shown may contain content not suitable for general audiences. Viewer discretion is advised.
GamePlay returns once again with the first game in the Spoof OS saga: Windows Crap Edition 6! It's filled with error messages, non-functional applications, unfunny jokes, a diary, and did we forget to mention error messages?
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Special thanks to Nathan125 and ChrisFratz for their contribution to this episode!
Game Information: Windows Crap Edition 6 by Spoof OS (August 2009)
Windows Crap Edition, also known as Windows CE (not to be confused with the real Windows CE, also known as Compact Embedded), was a series of comedic takes on the operating system, Microsoft Windows, created by Ken (Hildron101010) during the early days of the Computer Clan. Originally meant to make fun of Windows, it later became more of a parody OS and gained a following over the years.
The first five versions of Windows Crap Edition (versions 1.0 through 5.0), plus the 0.0, Server, and Mobile versions, were primarily made in PowerPoint/Keynote as videos only. However, starting with version 6, it was made with Game Maker, so anyone could download it and try it out for themselves.
(WARNING: For those who didn't watch the video yet, SPOILERS AHEAD.)
When you first start up Windows Crap Edition 6, you'll be greeted with the standard Windows XP startup chime, and on the desktop, a nice-looking farmland wallpaper, with the words "Microsoft® Windows® CE (Crap Edition) 6.0 (version 6)" in the center. The ball in the Windows logo is colored white and has a ™ (trademark symbol) next to it. The taskbar itself is rather basic: It is of a blue gradient color, and you just have the Windows Vista-esque Start button on the left.
Clicking on the Start button brings up a fullscreen Start screen, which slides up from the bottom. On the first page you have the following programs:
- Netscape: The default web browser of Windows CE 6. Attempting to open the program results in a message saying that a team of "higly" trained monkeys is fixing the issue. This is then followed by a series of error messages (including one that asks if the user is HOT, with no explanation given whatsoever), which is then followed by the program itself...except the address bar and everything else is missing, and you're just given a 404 error page.
- Media Player: The program starts with a warning letting the user know that pretty much all of the common codecs are missing (MP4, MP3, WMV, etc.), before then launching the program with a "Plug-In Error", rendering the player useless.
- OpenOffice: The program starts with a Java plug-in corruption error, before receiving another message saying that malware was activated. The Virus (from Windows Crap Edition 5) then returns attempting to "kill" the user, and when that fails, gets rather pissed. The Virus then decides to instead challenge the user by finding the correct PowerPoint logo to move on, by pressing the right mouse button. If the user manages to find the correct one, the Virus responds with a "YOU SUCK!!!" message, followed by an insanely tall message box that reads "HAHA!", followed by another message box telling the user to click OK and be redirected back to the desktop.
- Email: The default email client of Windows CE 6. The icon itself is very clipartsy, and the program itself isn't any better: You have no server space due to over 2.5 million messages, and if you try to compose a message, you'll just get thrown a couple of error messages (including a rather crude one).
- Control Panel (CTRL Panel): The program starts with an error message saying that a "LOAD.DLL" file could not be found and that a script to load the Control Panel would need to be created. After another "YOU SUCK!!!" message (presumingly from Virus again), the program launches: Except it's just a screen grab from the Windows XP Control Panel. (They didn't even bother to deselect the System control panel icon.)
While navigating through the first page of the Start menu, there is a button that reads "More Stuff". Clicking on it will bring up another page containing 7 more programs:
- Calculator: The program launches normally, except the buttons are a bit...off. You have double zeros, a ._. face, a OoO face, and some double-digit numbers that really shouldn't be on a calculator's buttons to begin with. Attempting to click anywhere in the window brings up an error message saying "2+2=22" (which is obviously wrong), followed by a Vegeta meme (OVER 9000!!!). This is then followed by a couple more blank message boxes and an error message acknowledging the previous blank error screens.
- Clock: Like with the calculator, the program doesn't throw any error messages at you (in fact there are none), but something seems...off. The clock itself is always frozen at 2:50 PM, and there's a number "12" at the top, with absolutely no meaning whatsoever.
- Minesweeper: There are three versions of Minesweeper in CE 6: 32-bit, 64-bit, and 128-bit. Only one of them works however, and that is the 32-bit version. Launching the program immediately begins the game of Minesweeper, except it is impossible to beat, as attempting to click on a square (or anywhere in the window) results in an instant loss. (Also every square is a mine.) Attempting to retry the game results in a fatal error. The 64-bit and 128-bit versions don't work at all; it'll just throw you an error message instead.
- Jokes: A series of message boxes containing a couple of bland jokes before it crashes due to a runtime error.
- Diary of Bill Gates: Bill Gates' diary was a running gag in the CE 4 and 5 videos, but now fully functions in CE 6...and it functions as you would expect a diary document to function...with no error messages. (If you want to know what's in this diary, you'll have to watch the episode to find out. >:])
Finally, we come to the shut down process: The shut down button is located on both pages of the Start screens. At first, the shut down process looks rather harmless, until an error message gets thrown at your face telling you to reset the file system. After a few clicks with the same error message, the operating system blue screens. (It's basically the 9X BSOD, but with the words "CRAP EDITION 6.0" hastily plastered next to the "Windows" text, along with the "_" next to "Press Any Key to Continue" hastily plastered on with a blank square.) The blue screen repeats the same error sound over and over again, until you press any of the keys on the keyboard, which results in the system rebooting into Mac OS X (albeit with a cheap-looking white spinning wheel). After a while, the system kernel panics, ending the game.
Oh, and one more thing: There is a help screen in Windows Crap Edition 6 accessible by pressing F1...but don't except any help from there, as it's mostly just credits.
Windows Crap Edition 6, while an interesting piece of Computer Clan nostalgia, isn't really a good parody of Windows: Some of the jokes fall flat (especially in the Jokes book), the graphics are very crappy (this was 2009 after all), and the resolutions are all over the place.
Regardless, it is still available for download on the Computer Clan's Spoof OS website as of August 2020, so if you want to try it out for yourself, then you might as well if you're curious. Otherwise, go with the newer versions.